(Frazzled and frustrated customer):
"WHY AM I HAVING THESE PROBLEMS? My phone works fine, and it's on the internet."
Me: "Is that phone connected to your wireless network?"
Customer: "Yes, the internet's in it."
Me: "Let me rephrase. Does that phone get the internet by connecting to your wireless network? The wireless network in your home?"
Customer: "I told you, the internet is inside this phone."